Often in life we grow up in a world full of expectations but are these ‘expectations’ really what we want to govern our lives by? I myself was guilty of unconsciously making decisions based around what I thought I was ‘suppose’ to do or how I was ‘suppose’ to behave, never asking myself what I truly wanted out of life. Until one day I realized… expectations are just a concept in my mind that I thought I had to follow to be accepted by others. Nobody really told me I had to live my life this way, it was just a pattern of behaviour I picked up as a child, always wanting to do what was asked of me to the best of my ability to avoid being ‘bad’ ‘wrong’ or ‘stepping out of line’. I was never happy no matter how much I stacked on my schedule, what adversities I overcame or what choices I made to ‘fit in’ with other peoples expectations of me. It got to the point I started assuming other people’s expectations and so my behaviour followed accordingly.
I wasn’t living life for myself. What scared the sh!t out of me was upon making this realization I had absolutely no clue what it was that I even wanted for my life aside from a loving husband and kids at some point. I had just accidentally stumbled across an existential crisis! This feeling was overwhelming and anxiety inducing, increasing my want to ignore these feelings and stay in the comfortable mold I was used to. I felt crazy. What’s worse I also felt isolated and lonely in my experience, and felt as if I lacked control over ever being truly fulfilled in my life. Talk about terrifying! The friends I tried to open up to just didn’t get it, they said everyone feels that way. This lead to more questions than answers. If everyone feels this way why the heck doesn’t everyone DO something about it?!?!?
I was left feeling judged then that feeling turned into silence. So what did I do with this realization I made? I ignored it since I didn’t know what to do with it. I tried to stuff it down just carrying on with life as normal until I had a complete breakdown and decided enough was enough. The beauty in this was I answered my own question. People aren’t doing anything about it because they don’t know what to do to, they don’t think it’s attainable or they lack guidance.
After my breakdown, I hired a coach and it was the most empowering decision I had ever made for myself because that decision was authentic and raw. It came from a vulnerable place and that is where our inner power is held. I admitted to myself I had problems (like everyone in life) but I lacked the mindset and tools to solve them. I usually focused on the symptoms rather than the root cause. I finally let go of the need to appear as if I’ve got everything together when it was the exact opposite of how I was truly feeling internally. Guess what? I learned SO much and my life was forever changed!
Working with someone further along in the journey and receiving support from someone who understands and holds space without judgment for the vulnerable sides of your transformation is a powerful, life changing experience that will forever stick with you. When you invest anything into yourself you get it back tenfold. This is law!
Our journeys through life are all different and unique. It only hurts us in the long run to ignore our wounds of the past, to live our lives for others and to take other peoples ego’s personally. When you’re able to see that most peoples thoughts are just a collection of experiences that lead them to form their perspective and you’re just a neutral prop in their reality, a certain level of freedom is introduced to us. As we make more decisions from our inner state of harmony we’re able to create a life for ourselves that aligns us with dreams we never dared even dreaming.
Separating to create space from the monkey mind isn’t easy but is worth every ounce of your effort. The mind is closely linked to our ego which is our identity. Often these identities are stories we’ve created and tell ourselves as a way to find meaning or a place in this world. We can keep the root of who we are without being attached to an identity. Everything is temporary including who we believe ourselves to be. When we can let go and embrace the natural change rather than hold on and fight against it, life is all of a sudden simpler and more fulfilling.
My Spiritual Path
I have faced a lot of adversity that broke me down to the point I was completely lost and had no personality left in me. But I survived. At age 18, I went through a spiritual awakening and this showed me there was a reason I was still alive and lived through very dark moments. My intuition told me that these hard parts of my path were gifts to help connect with others that, due to their struggle, felt they weren’t worthy of leading a fulfilling life. I had no idea what that looked like but I had a deep inner feeling it was my purpose and something that would have to unfold in front of me. Another turning point for me is when I found yoga where I resonated strongly with the teachings. From there I committed to walking the path despite what judgements my ego had. It’s never an overnight process, I still have moments where I struggle with what it feels like to integrate into a spiritually fulfilled authentic life rather than what I think it should look like. That just makes me human! I trust my intuition because I know it comes from a centered, grounded and empowered core which is why I’ve learned to feel my way through life rather than just think my way through it. The truth is it takes time to become our fullest expression. This IS the journey and is why gratitude for where we’re at plays such an important role for us as we learn the truth of who we are and what we’re all doing here on this planet anyway!
Our current situation does not dictate our final destination. There are always reasons to be grateful. Life is working in our favour even if the lessons we’re currently working through do not feel so pleasant. It’s all an experience meant to teach us and it is us who define what each experience means. Our understanding of it may not come until time has passed and we’ve had the space to reflect.SARAH HART
I’m ready to give back and provide service to my fellow warriors brave enough to walk the path. One does not have to be ‘spiritual’ or religious to walk this path or become a mature self actualized human being. We are all apart of nature, so we are all able to benefit from learning how to unlock our power within. I wish to assist all who I cross paths with embrace their journey, transmute their pain, and live a life of passion and purpose.
Places I never thought I’d go…